rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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