Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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