So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
