Dual....:-)
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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