Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
