im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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