She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
