shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
