Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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