This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just cropdusted the office
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
