Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize