How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
