we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
