Just cropdusted the office
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
