weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
40s are totally the cure
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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