is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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