I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
