but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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