I like my sex mixed with concussions.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's blow job season.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
