please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Welp...herpes.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
