I wish i was in the wii world.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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