I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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