if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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