oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
