Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
