Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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