I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
As shirtless as possible
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
