did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
