If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He better not be in your backpack
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
