and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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