brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
