Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
don't judge my taste in strippers
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
