your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
