I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
