Where is the hickey?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
