I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
