There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
