don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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