We're like a lot better than the average bears
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
