i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
