I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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