meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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