So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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