she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
