is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
