I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
