White coat. Heels.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
