I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
