come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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