I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
