I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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