her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Drake has all the answers
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
