hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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