1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
