No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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