its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
