As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
