I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
