that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
