NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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