i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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