apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
