i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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