Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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