summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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