He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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